Like a painted wild mustang- flying out across the open range finally gets to live her life that way-- no fear no fences nobody-- no reins<3

I keep freaking forgetting i have this blog! I haven't written in 4 days.. geez. Well I been working alot its been snowing alot. I got my new shoes in the mail today. I helped my mom put together part of our elliptical. Then i had to go to work. I made dinner for everyone at work. got to drive the sweet barber center mini van to pick up the meds. All together it was a great night at work and everyday i love it more. Which is EXTREMELY surprising. I never like my jobs! But i love love love it! I been thinking about moving out at the begining of the summer but im thinking i'll wait till the end of the summer or sometime by the end of the year.. I want to save up a few thousand HOPEFULLY. or a couple thousand. I want to have backup money for when i move out i dont want to be broke then be screwed by it. I feel very seperated from Rascal Flatts i just been so busy with life I haven't had time for rascal Flatts! it makes me sad :( But im super super tired so im going to bed after i take acid controller cause i been having really really bad heartburn. I cant wait to wake up tomorrow and start using the elliptical! love<3

I need your light to help me find my place in this world.....

I just ate Taco Bell and I feel sick now and its just gonna make me fat so why did i eat it? Cause i love food. I eat kinda bad but who doesn't? I'm not a fat hog like people say-- i eat just as much as anyone else. Just some people are lucky enough to not gain weight. Then theres me. I need to start eating right. Tuesday we are getting an elliptical and I'm gonna start using it-- maybe start out slow and work my way up to hopefully and hour a day. On top of me sitting here writing about how im fat and need to eat healthy.. im thinking about how i want cadbury eggs lol I'm craving chocolate. I dont want to work today but i need the money. Friday is pay day and im excited. But it will all go to bills :( I work from 3-11-- I dont think i like 2nd shift. Its harder for me to go to work. I feel like im missing out on stuff. Cause i usually am So its harder to make myself go. I'd rather just lay around and watch tv all day then work. See but when i work 3rd shift I'm not mssing anything [besides sleep] which is okay cause i only need like 5 hours.. I love 3rd shift so i really hope they dont start scheduling me got 2nd cause then i will say something. Cause I was hired for 3RD shift NOT 2ND!!!! anyways i am gonna take a power nap and go buy some chocolate. <3

Kindly Unspoken--

so i haven't posted a blog in a couple days... but anyways thursday i hung out with nicki which was nice. We went out to jade garden and it was good-- i could only eat 1 plate then iwanted to barf. We came back here and she caught up on the seasons of One Tree Hill. I slept for about an hour from 7:45-8:45 pm then got up for work and worked from 11pm-9am. I came home did some stuff fell asleep at about 11:30 and woke up at 2pm-- that was only2.5 hours. I was really tired but then my mom wanted to go out to dinner at O Charlies. IT WAS SOOO GOOD. first of all they brought our side salads and they were huge. I oredered a steak and the steak was done before i could even finsih my salad. I got the 10oz sirloin and it was superr duper yummy. and i got a baked potatoe with it. mmmm i could go for that right now. But yea then we got a piece of cake, IT WAS HUGE. we all had plenty. Then we went to khols and I found the bras i lovee. AND I GOT THE CUTEST PURSE! I'm in love it was normally 44 then i thought it was 25 then i got to the register and it was 17 plus my mom had an extra 15% off! So it was like 15 dollars for a 44 dollar purse!! It so cute i love it. Then when we got home i took molly to my dads. I was outside shoveling and playing with Moe my dads dog and he attacked me and woudln't let go. He got a hold of my one hand and was clenched to it so tight i was crying and screaming for molly to come outside and help. I honestly thought he bit my finger off. It hurt so bad and he got my other hand too on my one hand i just got a cut i thought was bad cause it was bleeding alot but its not bad and my other hand i ccouldn't move and got a tooth slash type thing and it kinda hurts. But my hands were all scratched up and welted and i couldn't move my left hand but after i uced it it was fine. I told my dad and of course he said his dog wouldn't purposly do that and he probably thought i was playing with him. FIrst of all it didn't seem to me he was playing. second of all either way he is too rough and cant be trusted. Then after that i got into a fight with kelly and she said TONSSSSSSSSSSS of horrible horrible horrible horrible mean stuff about me. I honestly dont trust anyone anymore. I dont know who my friends are anymore. Friends aren't always who you think they are. So im kinda going crazy. alright and so me and kim are going on a date toniht so hopefully she takes me somewhere good. SHe should really appreciate it cause work call and asked me to pick up a shift from 4-midnight and I ReALLY NEED TO. but i'm calling them back and telling them i can't. I cold really reall really use that exra shift. So yea im hopeing my new phones comes in the mail today. It should. I checked the status of my new Etnies and they just got shipped this morning from Indianapolis, IN this morning so I wont get them until monday. which kina blows. So yea its been kinda crazy but its all good. I'm going to shower now. BYE!

my place in this world.

today is a super day! I was going to go out to Beths in Corry but she ended up coming here so i get to save gas and save the drive. I loveeee cameron she makes me happy! I am enjoying working some then having off some. But still having good paychecks and able to pay my bills. Other than that nothing is really going on today... I'm gonna lay around the rest of the night and watch American Idol and whatever elseee! loveeeee<3

oh geeeez!

I wasn't so sure about this whole blog thing.. im hooked to myspace.. i write alot of blogs on there, but i guess i'll try this out also.
Today was a gay day. I woke up found out Beth and Cameron were gonna be over-- they got here then left again! Thats okay-- then i had to go to a iservice lift training for work.. well i showed up and it eneded up being just my boss and I. And it was akward cause i just started so i barley know her. But it was alright. Today was nice to relax-- clean up my room and do laundry.
I thought I had problems.. but geeeez there are some people in my family that got worse problems then me. DRAMA-- didn't think it actually happend much in families besides the normal fighting. But it makes me really upset with things that are being said and It breaks me heart. My grandma tells me how she never talks to her siblings-- and they never really got along and dont have a relationship at all. And to me I can't even imagine not having a relationship with my family. Certain people in the family are pushing themselves away from the rest of us. And it breaks me heart cause im afraid as the years go on we are all gonna end up like my grandma is with her family. I dont ever want that to happen. I thought family was supposed to be there for you at all times. I want to stay close with my brothers and sisters forever. just like i am now. ANd im sooooo afraid that wont happen. I been through too much stuff with friends and i been let down so many times and people come in and out of my life. ANd i thought family was supposed to be there always-- and the things that are starting to happend between certain people makes me wonder if even family is always going to be there? I just want to cry-- my heart breaks easily and I dont like things that are going on in my family. If its not one thing its another. Its like my personal problems get better.. THEN SOMETHING ELSE COMES UP. Life is never ending. I dont understand. Why can we have breaks? why does it have to be constant? I'm not perfect.. nobody is-- and I dont understand why some things in life happen the way they do....